What happens to the guy who was a Pastor for 18 years and then tells everyone he’s gay? Do you know? I suppose you can always check on Facebook to see if he posts anything. Maybe something controversial? Maybe something insightful? Maybe something nostalgic? He’s been pretty quiet lately. I wonder what he’s doing?
How are his kids? What is happening with his ex wife? How is she doing? How is he doing? Does he have a job? Does he still go to church? Does he still believe in God? Does he have friends? Does he regret coming out? Does he have community?
Will he start another church someday? How many friends from his past have stayed in touch? How many have made him feel unwanted?
Last week I got a call from the manager at a Cellular phone store. He had seen my resume online and asked if I would come in and talk to him. We met in the back room and he described to me the position that was available. He shared the compensation plan, and what the training and schedule would look like week to week. After a year of looking for jobs it felt good to perceive that this guy really wants to hire me.
He began to describe the company’s values. Everything they do was for Christ. He shared that the owner was the board president at a very large not for profit here in West Michigan. He told me of his involvement in his church and that several other people on staff were attending Bible College. This was a great place to work he explained. We have integrity here and want to provide great customer service. He advised me to go home to my wife and kids and pray about the decision. I said ok, we shook hands and I left. Somehow I just can’t see myself thriving there. I’m going to pass on that job offer. However, it did make me think and cause me to desire to share a few thoughts.
My entire ministry I worked very hard to advocate for those who felt they didn’t belong. I created space in my life and in the communities I cultivated to say to others that they are welcome with no strings attached. I’m not sure I’ve felt that reciprocated these past 2 years and I feel very sad about that. I know i’m not alone in feeling unwanted. I know many people that want to be a part of a church but feel like I did to the manager at the Cellular store. That if you knew more about me you wouldn’t want me.
This is so sad. I know better. I know what the scripture teaches about God’s thoughts towards his creation and his people. Yet, I haven’t darkened the door of a church in almost a year. I feel unwanted. I hope that will change.